Tips for a Happy Marriage

Biblical Counseling Insights
Life Discipleship Resources from Dr. Henry Brandt

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Tips for a Happy Marriage

Marriage Boundaries

You probably got married as friends, but then found yourselves running into difficulty because you each had your own way of living and doing. You came from one family, and your partner came from another family, and those families were different.
Your job as a couple is to create some boundaries and rules that will guide you in your marriage. But if you’ve never created any rules before, and you or your partner don’t like rules and boundaries, it won’t be an easy task. (read more)

Marriage Boundaries

Being married is hard work! When you got married you probably said something that resembled the traditional marriage vows: “I will love you, and comfort you, and keep you in sickness and in health, forsaking all others, keep unto you as long as we both shall live. And I take you for better or worse, richer or poorer, in sickness and in health; to love and cherish you until death do us part.” But, did you really realize what you were getting into?

You probably got married as friends, but then found yourselves running into difficulty because you each had your own way of living and doing. You came from one family, and your partner came from another family, and those families were different.

Your job as a couple is to create some boundaries and rules that will guide you in your marriage. But if you’ve never created any rules before, and you or your partner don’t like rules and boundaries, it won’t be an easy task.

One of the reasons this process is so difficult is outlined very clearly for us in Isaiah 53:6:“We all, like sheep, have gone astray, each of us have turned to his own way.” We’re all human, wanting to do it our “own way.” But the reality is one can’t have it their way and make mutually agreeable rules and guidelines. If your attitude is “my way is more important to me than the marriage,” you won’t be able to function as a married couple.

The good news is that your marriage doesn’t need to be a failure. If you find you have the problem of self-centeredness, talk to God about it, He can change your heart. Ezekiel 36:26 tells us, “I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you.” There’s hope my friend, and it’s in God!

Take a step . . .
Take a few minutes to think about your marriage relationship: Why did you initially marry your spouse? What qualities does your marriage partner possess that you appreciate? In what ways do you want your “own way” in the relationship? Ask God to change your heart toward your spouse in whichever way you most need it – be open to His leading.

This is a summary from Dr. Brandt’s message Marriage.

Who is the Leader?

You are equal partners making decisions in marriage. Responsibilities must be divided up. You need policies, procedures, and rules in order to work cooperatively as well as independently.
You will enjoy working together as you know each other better and gain confidence in each other’s decision-making ability. Developing faith and trust takes many months. Forging a new way of life from your different backgrounds takes time and patience.
Remember, you are equal partners. You are both vitally interested in all areas of the marriage. As in a business, consult with each other and participate in making decisions and reviewing them. (read more)

Competing Spouses

When the Dolans, a Christian couple, came to see me, they had not spoken to each other for several weeks. The tension had become unbearable.
The issue was over dancing in gym class. Hal Dolan had said flatly that their son should not participate.
Melissa Dolan had agreed in front of her husband, but privately gave their son permission to participate. Hal found out about it through a conversation with a neighbor who had visited the gym class. (read more)

Biblical Counseling Insights
Life Discipleship Resources from Dr. Henry Brandt

You are here: Home / Life Issues / Tips for a Happy Marriage

Friday, 7 April 2017